don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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