We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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