the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is my gift to your gina
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
