Only a mothe r could love this liver
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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