Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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