dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
