What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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