i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Randomize
