Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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