Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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