You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
