My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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