you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
