i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
