As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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