What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
