I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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