dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
