I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize