I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
