I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
