i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
