I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
