its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
