But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
