He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
