Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
