I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
