You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
