I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He passed out mid-signature
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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