We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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