You can't motorboat a personality
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
