whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
