i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
