For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
