Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
