Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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