i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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