Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
