two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
