I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
