Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
