Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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