Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
