dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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