How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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