What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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