I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
