Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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