So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We had to coat check the pizza.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
