go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
